


Battle Scars

by Yadirocks



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 06:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5486633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yadirocks/pseuds/Yadirocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam had hoped that his teammates wouldn't find out about what he had said to Yadier, but it's clear by the catcher's seemingly emotionless demeanor towards him that everyone knows. Adam is angry at himself, his words, and most of all, at Yadier. It isn't a big deal...or is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where Do I Start?

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song "Battle Scars" by Guy Sebastian and Lupe Fiasco.

Adam didn't believe that Opening Day could come any slower than it already was. Spring Training hadn't been quite what he had expected. 

He had walked into the bullpen of the Cardinals Spring Training site, Roger Dean Stadium in Jupiter, Florida. The sky was dark and the stench of rain wafted through the air. It was like the sky had been foreshadowing the gloom he would endure the next month.

Normally, on the first day of Spring Training, everyone was chipper and giddy, and annoyingly so. Adam was expecting to be met by numerous handshakes from new players or minor league ones, or receive hugs from the guys on the team currently. Of course, it wouldn't be the same without Yadier, who wasn't even present at pitchers and catchers report. Adam believed that the catcher couldn't bear the thought of his teammates seeing him with a cast yet again.

Adam shook the thought of Yadier from his mind. His heart couldn't take the replay of the words that struggled to claw their way out from behind his walls. He didn't want to think or even hear Yadier's name right now. Today was going to be a good day, and he wasn't going to let one person ruin it.

The chatter of the locker room stooped abruptly when Adam walked in. It was deadly silent as Adam made his way over to his locker. He frowned, wondering why all of his teammates were staring at him, or why Matt Holliday stood and went to the bathroom when Adam approached his locker that stood next to Matt's.

It was 2006 all over again, he thought, but told himself he was being silly. His teammates didn't hate him; they had no reason to. Unless...

When Adam looked up, Carlos Martinez was standing in front of him, a glare in his eyes that Adam had only seen him give to...he who will not be named...on the mound. 

"Hey, Carlos," he said casually, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. There was no possible way that he, or any of them, could've known. It was impossible. And if they did know, Yadier was a whiny brat.

"Culo," Carlos spat. Adam frowned, not knowing Spanish but assuming that Carlos had just cursed at him. "How dare you speak so casually to me after you said all those things about Oscar?"

Crap. They did know. Adam's face went hot with anger towards Yadier. How could he? He hated him even more than he had before now. 

"I'm going to kill him," Adam muttered. Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Who? Yadier? Adam, did you even know that he had a second surgery on his thumb, or did that just happen to slip your mind?"

"I knew about it, and I'm glad," Adam snapped. "He deserves it for everything that he's done. He shouldn't have told any of you about what happened between us, and obviously he has no idea how to keep his mouth shut."

The locker room went silent. A hand was on his shoulder, and Adam turned to see Michael Wacha. "Adam, Carlos went to Yadier's house a few weeks ago to check on him. Yadier was doped up on medication, and basically passed out, but he was talking and crying in his sleep. Whatever you said to him really hurt him, Adam."

Adam sighed, exasperated. "Keep your nose out of business that isn't yours. Yadier deserved to hear every word of what was said, and it's his own fault for being so upset about the truth," Adam said, though he felt a pang of guilt in his heart. The truth was that it was only partly true. 

Carlos was still giving him a cold stare. "Don't tell him to keep out of it, Adam. He's done more for Yadier and for me than you have done for any of us this entire offseason. Face it, Adam, the only thing you care about is yourself."

With that, they all slowly filed out, leaving Adam alone with his things. He sat down with a heavy sigh and put his head in his hands. He just wanted to forget any of this had ever happened.

Spring Training was a bunch of slips and slides, literally. Adam was hated by his fellow teammates. It seemed they didn't care that Adam had a heart too. Maybe it just didn't seem like he did after everything he had done, or maybe hadn't done, during the offseason. 

They would stick their legs out as he walked with his equipment and trip him, take the rosin bag with them every time they got done on the mound, and the catchers were especially mean. They would let the ball slip through their legs just so Adam would get less time in the bullpen, and they wouldn't even try to frame his pitches like Yadier would. 

Finally, finally, Opening Day came, and Adam couldn't have been any more relieved. He didn't care when he was tripped or whispered about behind his back. Now all he had to do was perform well on the mound, and all his worries would disappear. 

When Adam went out to the bullpen, he was totally ready for a do-over, and couldn't be more excited to let it happen. Nothing could bring him down today.

That is, until he walked into the bullpen and saw a big, red #4 with his back to him.


	2. Begin Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary.

Adam's breath caught in his throat. No, this couldn't be happening. Of course, he knew Yadier would have to return at some point, but he was hoping it wouldn't be for another week. Adam gulped, trying to make his way to the other side of the bullpen without the catcher seeing him.

Yadier was listening to Mike Matheny, a trainer checking his left thumb. When Adam caught a look at his face, the guilt ate at him. Yadier looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept the entire offseason. He was pale and skinny, when usually he was chubby and tan. 

Adam was almost to the other side. He just had to make his way past Cody Stanley, grab a baseball, and get to work. He was so close, he could taste it. 

Adam reached out for a baseball, and was about to jump for joy when Yadier locked eyes with him. His heart began to pound. Yadier was going to make a scene and Adam would be blamed, he knew it. He was expecting it, to be honest, and braced himself.

However, Yadier's shoulders just seemed to sag a bit more. Adam looked for the sparkle in Yadier's eye, but it was gone. This couldn't all be because of what Adam had said, could it?

Mike pointed to Adam, and Yadier turned his head, giving Mike a sad look. Adam read his lips. "I don't know if that's a good idea yet, Coach," he said, before casting his eyes to the ground. 

Mike squeezed his shoulder. Adam felt his heart become more angry. Mike even knew. How did everyone know?

"It's now or never, Yadi," he heard Mike say, before turning and leaving the bullpen. Yadier hung his head a bit longer before he began to make his way towards Adam. 

Adam wanted to yell at him for making his teammates hate him so much, but Yadier just whispered, "Hi." 

Adam frowned. "Hi..."

Yadier didn't meet his eyes. "How...how was your offseason?"

Adam shrugged. "Not very good," he responded.

Yadier took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry to hear that," he whispered, and they both looked away. "Uh...Mike wanted me to catch for you."

Yadier handed him a baseball from the bucket. Yadier stared down at his glove. Adam stopped the awkward silence by asking, "So what do you want me to throw?"

Yadier shrugged. "I don't know," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "Whatever you feel like you need to throw to get warm for your start."

Taking the ball back to the mound, Adam stared at the catcher. This was unusual for Yadier. Usually, he knew exactly what Adam should throw, and Adam despised him for it. 

Shurgging, Adam threw a few curveballs and fastballs, and then tried his changeup. He was feeling good. Yadier wasn't nagging at him anymore. Maybe things were looking up after all.

\--------------

After the game, which the Cardinals won 6-1, Adam was able to lift his head high in triumph. It didn't matter what his teammates said now. He had redeemed himself.

Then, suddenly, Mike Matheny grabbed his arm and pulled him to his office. "Mike, what is this about?" Adam asked. He frowned when he saw Yadier in his office, rewrapping his thumb. Mike took the roll of wrap away from Yadier, who just stared blankly at where the wrap had just been.

Mike forced both of them to sit next to each other. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but I know something is up. Spill the beans, boys."

Adam glanced at Yadier, who continued to stare anywhere but in Mike or Adam's eyes. "Nothing is wrong," Adam said, crossing his arms.

Mike rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Adam, I've seen how the boys have been treating you recently, and I've also heard what they've been saying. I need you two to pull the pieces together for me so we can solve this puzzle."

Both stayed silent. Mike looked at Yadier. Yadier was staring at the floor, his eyes closed. In Adam's opinion, he was being overdramatic. This wasn't a big deal, at least not to Adam.

"We had a fight, okay?" Adam snapped. "That's the end of it."

Mike went across the room and opened the door, stepping out. "Neither of you are leaving until this is sorted out. I don't care if it takes weeks."

With the slam of the door, Adam also felt a jolt of shock run through him. He was locked in a room with the guy who had made his offseason the worst few months of his entire life. 

If Mike wanted them to sort this out, he had another thing coming.


	3. Maybe I Was Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary.

"You're a coward!" Adam yelled, making Yadier step back. "I wish I had never met you! Everything is always your fault and then you act all innocent! Everyone thinks you're so freaking perfect, but you're just a mistake."

Tears glistened in Yadier's eyes. "If you really think that, then why are you still here?" he whispered. "Why did you come here today? Just to tell me what a horrible person I am for a little mistake? Adam, I didn't know who she was. I didn't even want to kiss her. She kissed me, Adam. I was too drunk to even realize that it was your wife, and I'm so sorry, Adam."

Adam was too angry. He lashed out. "Sorry doesn't cut it. I hope you die. You deserve everything bad that happens to you. You're a terrible friend and an even worse person. You mean absolutely nothing to me anymore."

He tore off the necklace that Yadier had given him in 2006, a sign of their friendship. "Here," he snapped, throwing it at Yadier. "I want nothing to do with you or your friendship anymore."

He stomped away, not caring that he could hear Yadier crying as he walked away. Yadier wasn't his problem anymore. Yadier was an even worse person than he was.

\------------------

Adam woke up with a start. Yadier had his hands on his shoulders, but he took them off as soon as Adam was awake. "I'm sorry," Yadier whispered. "You were...having a bad dream."

A dream. Yes, that's what it had been. Adam sighed with relief. Adam frowned when he saw that Yadier's pallet was made. "Did you sleep?"

Yadier shook his head, not meeting Adam's eyes. "I...I had a bad dream too."

It was a lie, and Adam knew it. He hated that he knew it. He had been friends with Yadier for so long that he could pick out when the catcher was telling a fib. He didn't say anything, though. "I wonder when Mike is going to give up," he mused.

Silence. Adam glanced at Yadier. He was staring at something. Adam looked over his shoulder, but Yadier closed his fist. "What's that?"

Yadier shook his head. "Something that doesn't matter to you."

Adam knew. The necklace. Yadier had kept it all this time. He wondered if he still wore his own, and when he looked closer, he saw that he did. Yadier dropped the necklace, his hands shaking. He hid his face in his palms so that Adam wouldn't see him cry.

He wanted to hate Yadier for his crying. He wanted to call him weak and a baby. But he knew he was wrong. Yadier wasn't weak. Yadier was broken. He had known that the moment he had looked Yadier in the eyes and noticed that the light was dimmed in them.

Adam didn't know what to say. He didn't want to apologize. His pride told him no. But he didn't have to.

"I'm sorry," Yadier whispered. "I'm sorry that I did it. I'm sorry I made you hate me, and I'm sorry I told them. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. I didn't ever want to hurt you, Adam. You were my best friend."

He was sobbing. Adam had never seen Yadier cry, not once. Adam sighed, knowing what he had to do. As much as he didn't want to, he knew that it would be the only way Yadier would heal. And besides, something deep down felt guilty for everything that had happened, and that's what made him reach out and pull Yadier into a hug. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have said those things. I was just...I was so mad that I thought they were true at the time. They're not, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I thought you were a terrible person, but I'm just as bad for everything that I said."

Yadier pulled away, his eyes red-rimmed. "Are you still mad?" he asked so quietly that Adam almost didn't hear it. Adam paused, not really sure. Yadier looked away at the silence, and the light that had begun to flicker in his eyes was put out. 

"Yeah, I am," he whispered, being honest. "But I think we're even, don't you?" 

Yadier shrugged, looking miserable. Adam brushed away the tear that trailed down his cheek. "I hurt you too."

Yadier finally met his eyes, the sadness and pain hitting Adam like a tidal wave. Yadier sniffed. "I'm a terrible person," he whispered. "You have every right to be mad. You had every right to say those things. I deserved it."

Adam felt the smack of his own words and the harshness they contained. Yadier had believed them. He had never wanted that to happen. Adam shook his head. "No, no you're not. You just made a mistake. I'm not even all that mad anymore. My relationship with my wife didn't change. We're still happy."

Adam hated that he was the one that was having to be strong, but even though Yadier would never admit it, Adam had hurt him far worse by ignoring his phone calls, making him believe he was a bad person and he deserved all these bad things, and that Adam didn't even want him to exist. 

"Are you still mad at me?" Adam asked.

Yadier shook his head. Adam brushed away another tear. "Then I forgive you, okay? I'm not mad anymore. Please stop crying."

Yadier looked up. "You're not mad?"

Adam shook his head. "You're my best friend. I can't keep staying mad at you."

Yadier smiled, his face softening in relief. He closed his eyes. "You're my best friend too," he whispered, before he fell back. Adam felt his heart stop in fear. This hadn't killed Yadier, had it?

He smiled when he heard a small snore. He put his own blankets over Yadier, squeezing his arm. "Hope your dreams are better this time, Yadi."


End file.
